#injured and sorrounded by pets. Happy Monday folks.
#ashwednesday I love anytime in any religion where we are asked to go into ourselves and find the spark of G-d by fasting and prayer and charity. I believe in the powers of faith and love in any religion, and I truly relate to honoring something bigger than you. I am spiritual by choice, #Catholic and #Jewish by birth right. I resonate with all religions that are based in #love. I continue this tradition of having blessed sacrad ash placed over my third eye to start the season of being deeper invested into the oneness of all. Blessed #Lent dear ones.
Walking with the #dieseldog. We live in magic. #walking #unpavedroads #happydog
#partneryoga #yogateacher #yoga #yogaprop
This is from my partner workshop today. I was demonstrating this awesome stretch with my hubby. I am grateful to him for doing this every year with me. (at Life Thrive Yoga)
All feelings are honorable. The problem is how we use those feelings.
This is why I run the #railtrail and why fall is my favorite season. It’s like getting blessed by the earth as you run, leaves just falling all over. #running #altrarunning #autumnruns
Full moon goddess bath. We made these bath salts on the new moon together to enjoy on the full moon. The water is so pretty speckled with flowers and it smells amazing. Happy full moon everyone.
View from my #yoga mat this morning. #outdooryoga #fallyoga #perfectmorning (at New Freedom Community Center)
I found this magical delicious gift from the earth while driving to teach yoga! #chickenofthewoods #mushroomhunting #foraging #vegan #roadsidebounty
#rawvegandessert white chocolate cake with pistachio crust and persimmon pudding topping sprinkled with pomegranate seeds. Made the day of the new moon to celebrate tonight.
Current situation: yoga then working on new moon gathering stuff and workshop planning then doing some calls for J. :) going to drink my #foursigmaticmushroomcoffee that does NOT give me the shakes and diffusing Believe in the #younglivingessentialoils diffuser. And listen to the #gayatrimantra to ease my way into the black moon/ new moon. Hope you are all having a productive morning and staying dry. (at New Park, Pennsylvania)
For the past 3 or so years I have been teaching at least 25-30 yoga classes a week. Some of those were over and hour long most were an hour long and all of them were in different places. I live 30 minutes from the closest place (except the new one just down the street, which is exciting). Anyway, if you were to put it all together you are looking at 30 hours of teaching plus close to 20-25 hours of driving a week. During this time the term burn out has entered my vocabulary multiple times and in multiple ways. My soul is tired, my body is tired and stressed (and to be honest I am gaining weight which as a person with an eating disorder and body dysmorphic disorder makes me super sad), I could not sleep enough, or eat as well as I like to and my mind is jumbled. I am burnt out. I teach people to be healthy and true to themselves, to love themselves. But I have not been the best example of that to my students. I kept pushing, it was affecting my own family, my own health my own mission. Even my practice, my most favorite part of my life has fallen away. After many days of teaching many classes I was not even wanting to see my mat. I took up running actually to just get away from all the yoga…but I ran to yoga music so it was a half hearted attempt at best. My lifestyle that at one point was so simple and had so much to do with getting back to nature, to the earth, to my spirit had fallen away and I spent all of my time in cars and running from place to place. I endured multiple car accidents, injuries during training, a lymes disease diagnosis, adrenal fatigue, pulled out my back in a simple lotion applying incident but still I pushed on. I was moody and grumpy and sad and started to really dislike people but still I pushed on. It was not okay. It is not okay. So I had to make a decision, a big one. I decided it was time to cut back my classes, not just by a little but by A LOT.
I am cutting back my classes to 15 a week and it has been a very difficult decision to make. You might be familiar with the term, the devil you know. I understand this level of over work, this level of exhaustion. I am not sure what it will be like to have more free time. If I will feel guilty for not working myself into a stuper. If I will feel like I am not doing right by my family. I have my own goals for this transition, to teach better the classes I keep, to read and learn more on my art, to be able to put together workshops (which I am too tired to do now), to make yoga events, to garden more, cook more, put up more food, to help J with the business, to take care of my family better, to exercise more and to finally get back to my practice!!!!! (you might never know how much I miss my practice, like a missing part of my heart or mind)
Do not get me wrong, 15 classes is still no cake walk but it is going to give me so much more time to be me again. I know that this has been hard on some of my students but I also know that they support me and I am grateful for their love. I have been truly blessed on this journey with amazing students, amazing opportunities, amazing challenges. I promise to get my updated schedule up and running soon. All of the changes will take place this August. Until then I hope you will all celebrate the remaining times we have together before the whole thing changes! I love you all.
#buttermilkfalls We spent 2 hours hiking through. So pretty, great weather, many steps. (at Buttermilk Falls State Park)
My #vibram #merrell shoes have seen some awesome hiking! I love them for out door stuff because you really feel the ground below your feet and yhey are super light. They have hiked up mountains, through falls, over gravel in between grasslands, through water… They are smelly, not gonna lie, but they are perfect. Next stop #buttermilkfalls. (at Ithaca, New York)
#himalayaninstitute #yogainternational #ashramlove (at Himalayan Institute)
Today was a good day. I got to marry 2 of my closest friends, I got to pet a cow, ate a great dinner, dress up for an hour, dress down for the rest and do yoga on some hay. #fridaythe13th #farmyoga #yogaonhaybale #yogaeverywhere #rightanglepose #dreadlocks
I am in a funk. Not gonna lie. That is probably why I have not been blogging. That and I kinda hate the whole blogging thing but that is besides the point really. Anyway, I am in a funk. I feel like that is an important thing to be aware of. I am not sure how long it will last or how long it has been going on. Funks are part of life. I am pretty sure for the longest time I really wanted the type of life where everything was perfect, where I marveled at the beauty of the universe and the amazing world around me all of the time. But, that is not always the case. So, when I get in a funk, I ask myself a couple questions. I ask myself:
How’s your practice going? (answer not great) How have you been eating? (answer not well) Have you been exercising regularly? (answer kiiiinda) Have you been nourishing yourself? (answer binge watching charmed on netflix…so nooo) Have you been meditating? (answer…shame)
See there are a bunch of things happening in my environment that can make me sad and down, but I cannot control the outside world. I can only control it’s effect on me. That said, I am not being very good to myself lately. I am choosing easy ways out. I am choosing to give in to my demons not really learning from them. I am aware of this. And sometimes a little letting go of the reins is ok but you cannot become wild with it. I am not a huge fan of the term control, I am a control freak which is probably why I am not a fan of it. Odd how that works. I do not really think we have control over anything but we have this illusion of it. With that said, I cannot think of a better term for what is happening or not happening to me as of late so I will use the term, loosely. What I am a huge believer in is practice. Practice of kindness, practice of yoga, of meditation, of exercise, PRACTICE. I am a huge fan of working towards things. When I fall off my path I feel off. I feel bad. I feel down. And for some reason I still do it. Probably because practice is hard. And sometimes painful.
I guess the reason I am writing this post today is to share that I fall a lot. I fall and then have to get back up and then I fall again. It is very hard and I have been trying for many many years. And I am a yoga teacher. I should be better, right? Nah, I am a human and I can be better. So I try, over and over and over again. You should too. :)
At the beach, laying back, reading to elevate. #happylife #himalayaninstitute #swamirama #mundakaupanishad #vacationreading #missingtheashram #yogainternational #yogawithinyou (at Rehoboth Beach, Delaware)